I'm new..

Hey guys, i just came across Live Journal itself today.

My psychiatrist has actually recommended me joining a support group, so i thought i would check out the communities on this site. I was diagnosed with Clinical depression, PTSD and GAD just recently. I have been struggling with depression for about 5 years. I am 16 years old and everything was basically triggered by being molested 3 times by 3 different men, that i trusted the most. I was recently prescribed Wellbutrin and Seroquel. I take seroquel, melatonin and my vitamins at night and Wellbutrin and another vitamin in the morning. My anxiety is absolutely horrible, and i constantly feel like im not actually a part of this world. Like everything is just a dream... and i`m going to eventually wake up in my bed or like a hospital bed. It`s horrifying. I do need support and help.  I am hoping to find that here.

Thanks guys
We're all in this together.

Something to share for those who are interested...

I hope this is considered an appropriate post for this journal. I was asked to post something today by my dear, dear daughter-in-law, and to share it in any community where I thought people might find it relevant. She and my daughter are grieving the loss of one of their friends this week, who after a long battle with mental illness, ended up taking their own life. I won't say I am "happy" to post this for my daughter-in-law, because it represents an extremely sad thing, but if even one person is helped by reading her heartfelt words, it has been worth it, for both her and myself.  I have added a resource list with web links and hotline numbers at the end. If you are interested, here is the link to my journal, and I have left it a public post - I am allowing anonymous comments, but I am screening them first. Thank you ~ hg

  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy
lil bunny


if i could escape, i would.
if i keep the music loud enough, it drowns out the screams of the dead and the dying.
if i keep my eyes open, i can't see the faces of the dead.
if i keep my mouth shut, the vileness inside doesn't spew out.
if i smile, it holds the rage at bay, for a time.
the objects in the rearview mirror are closer than they appear.
and then there is the nite...

chomping at the bit...again.
  • Current Music
    Personal Jesus-Depeche Mode
sim me

They Said project

I am starting a new project this year. Doing art and writing about some of the abusive things that people have done and said to me. The project is called simply "They Said" and each will feature a phrase someone said, a picture related to that, and the story behind what happened.

The first is up here:


Further installments will be posted on my author's facebook at http://www.facebook.com/lauracushingwrites

Please be warned for mentions of domestic violence.

It's my hope that telling my story will be able to help others somehow - either those who are still in that situation, or who have come through and are doing their own healing.

Don't worry, this is all past and I'm in a safe, happy place now.
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful

Useful free CBT apps for anxiety, panic, etc.

I don't know if they also have these for i-devices, as I refuse to install i-tunes or own i-anything. But I know they have them in the android and amazon app markets. You can get them on your phone, and I'm using them on my Kindle Fire.

Android Market

Amazon Market

Or search keywords: Excel At Life

These apps are VERY useful, and use the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy to help you journal about your anxieties, and to calm down when having an anxiety attack. They have calm down and relaxation and learn about your emotions audios along with the diary. You can set it up so you can get it to remind you of goals you are working on, and all that.

Highly recommend them, especially since they're all free!
  • Current Mood
    hopeful hopeful


My flashbacks aren't as bad anymore. I am still having a problem with being touched however. I have been through PTSD therapy but it didn't seem to help. I am going to try writing out my life and what happened to me. Then I am going to share this with my sponsor (recovery). Maybe then I can let go and move on. I am getting too old to still be dealing with something that happened 30 years ago. I need to pray every day for guidance and understanding. If anyone has any suggestions, I am willing to listen. God Bless.
  • Current Music

hi. anyone out there?

New member here. I noticed the last activity was in August so I'm posting hopefully to stir up some conversation here.

The last post by slow_mo_panda was about a particular type of PTSD stemming from a near-death experience: What is your PTSD from? What issues do you deal with that are specific to your "type" of post-traumatic stress?

And, how specifically are you coping with your PTSD? Medications, different modes of therapy? What works for you and what doesn't?

my answers: tl;dr but if you're bored, have a skim.Collapse )
  • Current Music
    Pizzicato Five - "Baby Love Child"

Living with PTSD

I can tell I'm heading for trouble when my dreams start to turn. Usually I have very enjoyable dreams, dreams of stories and interesting things. I wake up remembering a line of poetry my sub-conscious came u with , or sometimes a character or even the entire outline for a short story. Once I dreamed a whole novel (I actually won NanoWrimo that year, as opposed to every other year when I haven't been able to get more than about 1/4 of the way).

My experiences with PTSD, bad dreams, flashbacks, anxiety attacks - and my advice for dealing with all of the aboveCollapse )
  • Current Mood
    okay okay